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FAQs
If you have questions, I have answers. Read on!
What does “finding your authentic voice” really mean?
For me, it means that going into any meeting, getting on any stage, or even being anywhere with friends and family that I am confident in what I say and how I say it because I’ve embraced the unique way I think, feel, and express myself. And that’s what I want for you as well.
Why is it important to discover and use my authentic voice?
Living authentically leads to deeper fulfillment, better relationships, and alignment between your values and actions. It can help you reach your relationship or career goals, bring clarity to your life and make you feel better about yourself overall.
Also and importantly, in times when women’s voices are being silenced I want women of any age to be able to stand up for themselves and others with confidence and power.
How do I know if I’ve already found my authentic voice?
You’ll feel a sense of ease and alignment when your actions, thoughts, and words reflect your true self without fear of judgment. You’ll feel confident when speaking your truth.You will be trusted and sought out.
Can I have more than one “authentic voice” for different aspects of my life?
You won’t have completely different voices (that would be a little scary), but you can adapt your voice to different contexts while staying true to your core values and identity.
Challenges in the Process
What are the common obstacles people face when trying to find their authentic voice?
Fear of judgment, self-doubt, and pressure to conform are the most common barriers. Also, not doing the hard work…that’s the biggest obstacle in some ways…just getting it done. Without procrastination. Without lying to yourself.
How can I deal with self-doubt or fear of being judged while expressing my true self?
Give yourself a break! Practice self-compassion, focus on your values, and remember that not everyone has to understand or agree with you.
What if my authentic voice conflicts with societal or family expectations?
Not if, but when. There will absolutely be times when it does in both personal and professional spaces. And when it does, you have to decide if those conflicts are important enough to stay true to yourself. It’s about setting boundaries and understanding that your authenticity benefits both you and those around you. Practical Application
Are there exercises or tools in the book to help me identify my authentic voice?
Yes, the book includes reflective journaling prompts, practical exercises, and case studies to guide you.
How do I practice using my authentic voice in everyday life?
Later in the book I’ll be talking about “little bets”, or identifying those moments or places where you can start small, trying out new or different things and seeing how you feel. Then you can gradually expand to more challenging areas.
How can I apply my authentic voice in professional settings without compromising my goals?
If you feel that being true to yourself and your values compromises your goals, there is more to worry about…like being in the wrong professional setting. If you are authentic in what you say and how you say it though, you will not only help bring clarity and perspective to a difficult situation, you will also be seen as trusted, as a source for clarity, as a leader.
Cultural and Social Influences
How do societal norms or cultural expectations affect our ability to be authentic?
They can create pressure to conform, but recognizing these influences allows you to consciously choose your path.
Can someone truly be authentic in a world of social media and constant comparison?
Yes, by focusing on your values and what you are trying to accomplish in social media. Whether you are a TikTok dancer or the head of a Fortune 100 company, if you are authentic, people see and respond to that. Also, being authentic to yourself means identifying and creating the right boundaries around how you engage with social media.
How does discovering my authentic voice help me build stronger relationships?
Authenticity fosters trust, deepens connections, and attracts like-minded people who value the real you.
The Journey of Authenticity
Is finding my authentic voice a one-time achievement or an ongoing process?
It’s an ongoing journey of growth and self-discovery as your experiences and perspectives evolve. While it becomes natural over time, there is always room to check in with yourself as I do.
What are the signs that I’m not living authentically?
You might feel disconnected, unfulfilled, or like you’re constantly performing to meet others’ expectations. I feel icky, anxious and guilty when I know I’m being inauthentic—and that is a lot of crap to carry around.
How do I stay true to myself when external pressures push me to conform?
Regularly reflect on your values and remind yourself of the importance of living in alignment with them. It’s hard, but draw that line in the sand, make your point and then, if you must, walk away. You can disagree and be disagreed with and still be trusted and respected if you are authentic.
Specific Situations
How can I find my authentic voice as a leader or in a workplace setting?
Lead with integrity, communicate openly, and build relationships based on trust and respect. Be vulnerable. Be transparent. Be honest.
What if I feel like I’ve lost my voice due to past trauma or setbacks?
Healing takes time—start by exploring your feelings, seeking support, and giving yourself permission to rediscover who you are. “Therapy” is not a bad word. It’s doesn’t make you weak or broken. Just like you hire someone to do your plumbing or electrical, you can do the same for your heart and brain.
Can this process help me rediscover my creativity or passion?
Absolutely—authenticity removes mental blocks, reignites curiosity, and opens the door to creative expression. It feels clean, open, exciting and you know that feeling. Find it.
Personal Growth and Transformation
What changes should I expect after I’ve discovered and embraced my authentic voice?
You’ll likely experience greater confidence, fulfillment, and clarity in your decisions and relationships. You might be tired from hard work or a long day still, but you won’t be carrying the emotional and physical load of trying to be something you aren’t.
How does embracing my authentic voice lead to greater fulfillment or happiness?
Living authentically reduces inner conflict and allows you to pursue what truly matters to you. Take me, for example—I am an idea machine…which can be great, but it also is a distraction machine for me when being authentic is hard. Big idea and inauthentic is a waste of you, your energy and your skills. Big idea and authentic builds energy, builds focus, builds impact.
Can this book help me find clarity in major life decisions?
Yes, by guiding you to identify your core values and align your choices with them.
About the Author’s Journey
How did you find your own authentic voice, and what inspired you to share this journey?
Oh, boy. It was so hard. I kept thinking I could fake it, be so great in other ways that I could just keep doing it how I was doing it. But it was exhausting. And I hated myself. I could feel it eating at me. And, there were a lot of times I was ineffective because of it. But my authentic-self kept rising up and it felt soooo good. I started small. I was open about it. I was honest with myself—brutally honest. Scarily honest. And slowly, I got to a place where it was easier than being someone else. And then something happened and I said, “Fuck it—I’m going all in”.
What personal challenges did you face when discovering your authentic voice?
I struggled with how big it was. I struggled with speaking truth to power. I struggled with fearing people might not like me. I struggled believing my authentic self was enough and that it could sustain me and the life I wanted.
Do you believe everyone has an authentic voice that can be uncovered, no matter their circumstances?
Yes! Actually, fuck yes!!! Everyone has an authentic self and voice. And there is no one type or style. So don’t back yourself into that corner.